Surfergeeks

Okay, so Why Does Earth Suck? I’ve been asked this repeatedly over the past couple weeks since making my announcement I would tell you. It’s all really quite simple. What kind of a place is it to live where you spend half your time boiling in your skin and the other half chipping icicles off your chin? Yep, weather. That’s why Earth sucks. Oh sure, there are places like the equator where it’s nice and toasty all the time. Hell, you can even venture a little North & South of that little line on the map and it stays warm. Go to far and your in for a world (hehe) of discomfort. Summer gets too hot. Winter IS too cold. Then you’ve got Fall & Spring to deal with. Fall just plain sucks. If you own a house with any trees at all you get to spend at least one full weekend raking up stupid leaves and bagging them up for the leaf fairy to come and take them away. Another one of Fall’s drawbacks is that it generally gets colder with each day. You’ve managed to live through the boiling hot summer to see about 4 days of perfect weather before Fall drops in on you and turns the weather cold. So, not only are you out spending a weekend raking leaves, you’re doing it in the cold. Oh, and did I mention that it will most likely rain the weekend you’ve chosen to do the leaves. Or snow. That’s because Fall doesn’t know what the hell it’s doing. Okay, so Summer’s too hot, Winter’s too cold, Fall sucks cuz it’s stupid and doesn’t know what it’s doing so that leaves Spring. Spring COULD be the best season except for two facts: it’s usually still chilly and it rains. And rains. And rains. Yes, the weather IS better than winter. (Of course having your widsom teeth pulled without the benefit of drugs is better than winter.) But it’s still cool and it rains. The rain may go away for a day or two, but don’t worry. It’ll be back – and it’ll bring friends. Again, we’ll experience about 4 days of perfect weather (well, probably only 2 because the other 2 – it will rain) and then we start to broil in our skins.

One really has to wonder what the hell we were thinking all those aeons ago when we peered out of the ooze and saw land and for some reason decided that was were we should be.